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AGE: A Teen's Perspective

Some people say age is just a number, and others think it has nothing to do with how far you’ll go in life. But where I’m from, age matters a lot. In Yoruba culture, if someone is even a couple of years older than you, you’re supposed to call them “Aunty,” “Uncle,” “Sister,” or “Brother.” People take this really seriously, but honestly? I don’t see why it’s such a big deal.

Having older siblings or cousins can be exhausting sometimes. One minute, you’re all having fun, laughing and joking around. Then, out of nowhere, their mood changes, and they start with stuff like, “You think I can’t push you back?” or “I can still beat you.” And you’re just standing there, confused, thinking, Weren’t we just playing?

They act like they know everything about you, but they don’t. They don’t get your vibe, your likes, or what annoys you. Sometimes, they talk to you like you’re nothing or give you this look that screams disgust. But the second you stand up for yourself, you’re the disrespectful one. And then comes their go-to line: “Do you know my age?” or “I’m six years older than you, so who do you think you are?” If your parents get involved, you already know what happens—you’re the bad guy. Meanwhile, when they were being rude to you? Nothing. It’s like the world’s flipped upside down.

One time, I was playing with my cousin. I’m really not into people touching my head, but he did it anyway. So, I tried to touch his head back, and he ran upstairs. I followed him, thinking it was still a joke, but when I got there, he slapped me twice. And not just any slap; I’m talking about slaps that sting and leave you in shock. I was hurt, not just physically but emotionally, too. I wanted to react, but I didn’t. Why? Because he’s older than me. That day, I decided to stay in my lane and let it go, but deep down, it really got to me.

And it’s not just stuff like that. I’m always hearing things like, “Tola, you have a bad mouth,” “You don’t know how to talk,” or “You’re so moody all the time.” But do these so-called “elder” people ever look at themselves? Like, do they think they’re perfect? No, but I can’t point that out because, according to them, I’m just an “immature” teen.

Sometimes, I wonder why older people are so scared of letting younger ones have a voice. Are they scared of losing control? Or is it just the way they were raised? For example, when you try to explain how you feel, they’ll twist your words and make it seem like you’re being rude. But seriously, how is speaking your mind rude?

I remember one time I asked my older sibling for advice. I just wanted a simple, chill conversation. Instead, it turned into this long lecture about how I needed to respect them first. It made me realize something: sometimes, age makes communication harder instead of easier.

Honestly, it feels like older people use their age as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and it’s super frustrating. Look, I get it, age is important. But respect isn’t a one-way thing. It should go both ways. Being mature isn’t just about how old you are; it’s about how you treat people, no matter their age. If everyone just showed a little mutual respect and tried to understand each other, things would be so much better.

But let’s be real, that’s easier said than done. The reality is that society has conditioned people to think that respect is directly tied to age rather than character. We see it everywhere, from families to schools to workplaces. If a younger person dares to challenge an older one, even if they’re completely right, they are often dismissed as being “disrespectful.” But what if the older person is the one in the wrong? Should they get a free pass just because they’re older? That’s what makes things so frustrating for teenagers like me.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions adults have about teenagers is that we don’t understand life yet. They think we’re too young to have opinions or feelings that matter. But the truth is, just because we haven’t lived as long doesn’t mean our experiences and emotions are any less real. We feel pain, frustration, and joy just as deeply as adults do. The only difference is that we’re still learning how to navigate it all.

If older people took the time to listen instead of just assuming they know better, they might be surprised at how much they could learn from us. Respect shouldn’t be based on who is older or younger. It should be about mutual understanding and kindness.

I get that respect is a huge thing in our culture. And I’m not saying we shouldn’t respect older people. But respect should go both ways. I mean, isn’t it funny how adults expect us to respect them while they openly disrespect us? They yell at us in public, embarrass us in front of people, and sometimes even hit us, all in the name of discipline. But if we so much as roll our eyes, we’re being rude. The double standard is insane.

And then there’s the issue of independence. We’re constantly told to act more mature, to start thinking about our future, to be responsible. But the second we try to make a decision for ourselves, we’re shut down. It’s like they want us to grow up but only on their terms. How are we supposed to become responsible adults if we’re never allowed to think for ourselves?

Sometimes, I just wish adults would take a step back and try to remember what it was like to be our age. I bet they faced similar struggles, but now that they’re older, they’ve forgotten. If they could just put themselves in our shoes for a second, maybe they’d realize that we’re not trying to be difficult. We just want to be heard and treated like we matter.

At the end of the day, age is just a number. It doesn’t automatically make someone wiser or more deserving of respect. What truly matters is how we treat one another. If people could let go of the idea that age equals superiority and start focusing on understanding and kindness, the world would be a much better place for teens and adults alike.